Good to be back after being away for so long!
Married on March 17, 2008
Although my life didn't become derailed overnight, and all of life's curveballs didn't strike me out at once, a succession of personal challenges brought me to the precipice of financial disaster ...
to a view I never want to contemplate again.
Diagnosed with several debilitating conditions over the past decade, enduring a subsequent amicable, yet nonetheless difficult, divorce, and having to give up the very teaching career that defined me ...
I found myself swimming in a veritable sea of "nothingness," nearly drowning while trying to keep afloat financially.
Nothing made sense to me. Nothing was going my way it seemed. My days no longer held any real meaning nor sense of purpose. It felt as though nothing really mattered to me ... not my finances, not my own state of decline ... nothing, except the well-being of my two daughters.
More than once I seriously contemplated escaping my emotional pain and profound sense of grief and loss ... but the images of their two innocent faces swirled round and round in my consciousness ... preventing me at the last nano-second from ever commiting the unthinkable. By divine providence, I began to connect the dots that while my own suffering would be alleviated, to leave them would be to leave them with holes in their hearts forever. A permanent solution to my temporary problems was not the way to go.
THEY were the life forces that kept me going, reminding me that I was still very much accountable, and that for their sake, I could and I WOULD carve out a new path, a renewed sense of purpose ... for them, as well as for myself.
I learned to take babysteps toward wanting to live, not only for them, but in time, to re-establish my own sense of purpose and to embrace life joyously and with conviction once again. When I finally climbed out of my big, black hole my positivity slowly returned, as well as my proactive problem solving abilities. And none too soon, as I found myself on "debt row" and in dire need of a financial reawakening.
Despite the gravity of my personal financial situation, for the first time in years, I felt optimistic about my life and about all the loving ways in which I could continue to share myself with my daughters, my family and my friends ... even as my budget was considerably slashed, and I took steps to reduce the mountain of debt I had amassed.
Although my available resources had greatly diminished, I discovered that I could indeed continue to "live large" ... with just as much heart, while on the road to greater physical, spiritual and financial health.
It is that path that I share with you now.
This is the tale of my ongoing trajectory toward financial freedom, as well as a glimpse at my chosen path toward wellness and recovery.
"Optimism is not a blind and thoughtless belief that everything's going to be okay no matter what. People who go around thinking that life is always going to go their way if they think positive thoughts aren't optimists ... they're idiots. A true optimist wakes up thinking, "Anything could happen today ~ good or bad. And whatever happens, I can deal with it."
Loretta LaRoche, Stress-Management Expert and Author of
"Life is Short - Wear Your Party Pants"
*** You can purchase Loretta's book at my SerendipityMom Storefront HERE on
A Like-New Collectible for only $10.95 ... Makes a great gift!
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money ... than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past ... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our ATTITUDES.”
Charles R. Swindoll
Here's to a positive day!
Please visit my other newly created personal finance journal
Serenity Now ~ Finding My Way Again